Blonde Jokes

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"
Why can't blondes water-ski?
When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.
Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning?
Tell her a joke on Friday..
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said "concentrate".
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.
What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
You need a quarter to use the phone.
Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
Why was the blonde so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".
What does a blonde tell you if you ask her if your flash light works?
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you hit her.
What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their legs.
Why does a blonde closes the curtains when she stops working with her computer?
Because she thinks that she closes Windows.
Why do blondes never use a vibrator?
Because they keep breaking their theeth.
How does a blonde sends an email?
She puts the laptop in the mailbox.
Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she's been laid all over the country.
Why does a blonde enters and leaves the house through the window in the spring?
Because the winter is standing at the door.
How does a blonde kills a fish?
She drowns it.
How does a blonde kills a bird?
She throws it out of the window.
What's the difference between a blonde and a picture?
The picture is developed.
Why does a blonde takes hay with her to bed when she goes to sleep?
For the nightmare.
Why has God created blondes?
Because a dog can't get a bottle of beer from the refridgerator and bring it to you.
Why don't blondes like M&M's?
They are so hard to peel.
How does a blonde kills a bird?
She throws it out of the window.
How can you tell that a blonde sent the fax?
Because there is a stamp on it.
Why does a blonde never has ice cubes in her kitchen?
She doesn't know the recipe.
Why doesn't a blonde give breast-feeding?
It hurts way too much when they cook their breasts.
Why don't blondes like to eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.
There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"

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