How do you keep a blonde busy? Write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. |
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How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant. What will she ask you? "Is it mine?" |
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Why can't blondes water-ski? When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down. |
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Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped? Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open. |
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday.. |
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Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2
hours? Because it said "concentrate". |
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Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house. |
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What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? You need a quarter to use the phone. |
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Why don't blondes talk when having sex? Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers. |
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What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence. |
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Why was the blonde so excited after she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only 6 months? Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years". |
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What does a blonde tell you if you ask her if your flash
light works? Yes...no...yes...no... |
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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you hit her. |
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What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men? Their legs. |
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Why does a blonde closes the curtains when she stops
working with her computer? Because she thinks that she closes Windows. |
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Why do blondes never use a vibrator? Because they keep breaking their theeth. |
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How does a blonde sends an email? She puts the laptop in the mailbox. |
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Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? Because she's been laid all over the country. |
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Why does a blonde enters and leaves the house through the
window in the spring? Because the winter is standing at the door. |
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How does a blonde kills a fish? She drowns it. |
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How does a blonde kills a bird? She throws it out of the window. |
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What's the difference between a blonde and a picture? The picture is developed. |
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Why does a blonde takes hay with her to bed when she goes
to sleep? For the nightmare. |
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Why has God created blondes? Because a dog can't get a bottle of beer from the refridgerator and bring it to you. |
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Why don't blondes like M&M's? They are so hard to peel. |
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How does a blonde kills a bird? She throws it out of the window. |
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How can you tell that a blonde sent the fax? Because there is a stamp on it. |
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Why does a blonde never has ice cubes in her kitchen? She doesn't know the recipe. |
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Why doesn't a blonde give breast-feeding? It hurts way too much when they cook their breasts. |
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Why don't blondes like to eat bananas? They can't find the zipper. |
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There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge. | |
Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!" |
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